Awakening Dreams Self-Forgiveness

Self ForgivenessSelf-forgiveness

“Forgiving yourself means letting go of the feelings and emotions associated with what went wrong. You let go of any resentment or anger. It may be easier to do this when forgiving others, but many find it hard to do this for themselves.” Betterhelp.com.

What causes us to prolong self-forgiveness? Why is it easier to forgive another–and yet, difficult to forgive ourselves? Can we find joy in the chaos? Is it our anger, bitterness, and stubbornness? When these feelings are felt, it’s a sign for us to forgive–ourselves or others.

Focus on the emotions. It’s a process of learning to forgive ourselves. Sometimes it’s difficult to understand why we feel a certain way. Is it part of our story or experiences? Understanding how we feel is opening a door to forgiveness.

I practice mirror work. If I can look at myself as I state my mistake/misunderstanding, I can move on. This is difficult because we don’t want to feel at fault or vulnerable. Yet, vulnerability is strength.

I write feelings/emotions down when I find them challenging to accept. Journaling or my pros & cons list goes something like this example.

  1. Why do I feel this way? Then I list the pros & cons.
    1. Pro: They needed to hear how they made me feel.
    2. Pro: I felt empowered for the moment.
    3. Con: I hurt them more than I imagined.
    4. Con: I responded too strongly to what the situation merited.
  2. Another method is I write a letter to myself using handwriting. Not a computer/phone or any electronic means. I address the wounded child within me. Can I forgive that child? Sometimes, it takes several letters before I can see the truth within myself. Practicing kindness to myself can lead to letting go and eventually joy.

We’ve all heard that we are our worst critics and we can be. For me, it’s the constant repetition of the situation. It repeats the many scenarios that could have happened. Could’ve, Should’ve, and would’ve are not our friends. It can take us down a rabbit hole which I have found to cause anxiety over a situation that might happen.

I ask myself what caused the breaking point? Was I too tired? Not enough sleep? Not feeling well? Did they push my buttons when I needed support? I’ve learned the hard way to bite my tongue because I came from the philosophy that honesty is the best policy. What I have learned is that it is not. Kindness is the best policy because honesty is just an opinion. One person’s truth is not mine and vice versa.

I have found that just pulling off the bandage and apologizing and making amends is best for me. What can you do to fix the situation? Be sincere in the apology. Know we might not remedy the circumstances, but understand that we all make mistakes and we need to learn how to forgive ourselves. I’ve had a situation where I was wronged. They never apologized and even though I have forgiven them, the relationship changed. There was a loss, and I realized my part was my perceptions were not in line with the truth of our relationship. I needed to be responsible for my beliefs. What part have you had in a relationship? Was it your perceptions? Were your needs not being met? Were your needs in alignment with theirs? Expectations of others can lead to misunderstandings. Expect what is true and forgive yourself when your perceived needs are not met. Self-forgiveness is a learning process and the sooner we learn the process, the calmer and faster we can move on.

“Choosing to forgive ourselves is a great act of compassion. Our compassion towards ourselves will radiate out into the world towards others. You will experience peace, joy, and humility. Your vibrational energy will rise. There are so many benefits to Self-Forgiveness.  I have come to learn that healing is truly from the inside out.” Belinda Haverdill from Spiral Path.

There’s a list of various in-depth articles that can help in your journey to self-forgiveness in the notes.

The poem for this week is: Alliance from The Inspire Me Series: Book 1 & 2 and will appear in my upcoming book. Inspire Me: Awakening Dreams. This poem also appeared in the June podcast under expectations.

Alliance

Sometimes my essence aches because of the many adventures and events others have had without a mention, and I wasn’t there. Is it me? Is the perception of what they sense I am determining my behavior, my thoughts? We spoke of holiday two summers long set for the third. The third visit around the sun and I asked when are we going? I don’t know, was the answer. Facing the truth—via social media as I view the celebratory drink in hand with another. Visiting the places of visual beauty, of distant land we planned. Why not explain? Why falsehood? A sadness took over me. Was it them? Was it me? Was it my perceptions of childhood memories that stood in the way of the truth? A truth that hasn’t existed in decades. A long ago feeling attached to a person whom I’ve surrendered my alliance. Taking responsibility for my emotions as I breathe and let go. Let go of my ideas of the past. Do I blame them? No, I’m accountable for my beliefs. Will we plan again No. Our characters detached the blinders I wore since childhood. Abandoning my memories and allowing myself permission to move on.

Many blessings.

Follow me at: https://poeticresurrection.com/

Podcast: https://poeticresurrection.podbean.com/

https://poeticresurrection.podbean.com/e/awakening-dreams-expectations/

Helpful links:

https://www.spiritualityandpractice.com/practices/alphabet/view/11/forgiveness

https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-forgive-yourself#3.-Think-of-each-mistake-as-a-learning-experience

https://www.lifehack.org/837308/self-forgiveness

https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/self-esteem/what-is-self-forgiveness-and-why-is-it-important-to-your-mental-health/

https://positivepsychology.com/self-forgiveness/

https://www.spiralpathhealingartscenter.com/post/self-forgiveness-as-a-spiritual-practice

https://www.oprah.com/inspiration/deepak-chopra-how-to-forgive-yourself_2

https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/the_healthy_way_to_forgive_yourself

https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/quizzes

https://www.theforgivenessproject.com/

Music: Passing Time by Kevin Macleod

Overheard at Chica’s Café New Podcast

Overheard at Chica's CaféOverheard at Chica’s Café, Where Friends Meet is an entertainment podcast. New episode today. After producing two other podcasts, Poetic Resurrection, which is An introspective look at life and our Perceptions and Beliefs. It’s a self-help poetry site and Chica and the Man, As Unscripted as it Gets, is about two podcasters, Alex and Sonia who talk about anything that comes to mind on the day of the recording.

One of the episodes of Chica and the Man was called Overheard at Chica’s Café and I thought what a fun name for a podcast. It’s not gossip, just hearing two friends talk. This one is light and interesting, and the goal is to have it bring a smile to your face. Tune in.

Peace.

Awakening Dreams – Doreen Calderon

Awakening Dreams Doreen CalderronThis week on the Poetic Resurrection Podcast – Awakening Dreams we have Doreen Calderon a friend, fellow actor, and transformational coach. We discuss acting experiences and how they led her to assist actors in recognizing their talents with self-awareness and acceptance. Stay tuned for a must-listen to episode for performing artists.

The Recognized Actor
Doreen Calderon coaches experienced actors and artists who work in the industry, but crave more.  She reliably helps professional artists wake up to the deepest and best they have inside them, then shows them how navigate their world with ease and grace. Clients gain clarity and understanding around the nature of the artist, the nature of the industry, and the nature of life. The Recognized Actor (founded 2012) has evolved from a postcard company, to a marketing company, and now is pure coaching. Doreen’s seasonal Action Groups combine goal setting, individual coaching, resources and community over the course of three months. Private sessions are tailored to the individual’s current needs. On Monday mornings, she facilitates her FREE on-line forum, “Now What?”, for those who already know the business, but yearn for deeper discussions around it. Her motto: “Quit thinking so much, just show up, and play!”

Doreen Calderon, is a Los Angeles-based actor, originally from Chicago. Conservatory trained, she worked in both legit and improv theater for ten years before arriving in L.A.. Recently, she was in the Oscar-nominated Live Action Short, Please Hold, now available on HBOmax. She can be seen in Maya Rudolph’s new AppleTV sitcom, Loot, (Ep. 2), as well as the Season Two premiere of ALLBLK TV’s, For the Love of Jason. In 2021, she shot four national union spots (AT&T, Hyundai, and Bank of America) as well as scenes for upcoming, Hulu and HBO projects. Past credits include: Riverdale, Call Me Kat, This is Us, Animal Kingdom, etc. She currently performs and teaches with Cold Tofu – the nation’s first Asian-American comedy group.

The Recognized Actor

FB:  https://www.facebook.com/TheRecognizedActor/

WEBSITE:  https://www.dcdesign8.com/

IG: @the.recognized.actor

NOW WHAT?:  https://calendly.com/recognized/now-what

Professional Actor

IMDb:  https://pro.imdb.com/name/nm0129522?s=b2c088ce-2349-cb8a-d1b2-47dcc7a38d31&site_preference=normal

IG:  @doreen_calderon

Awakening Dreams – New Episode

Sonia Iris LozadaAwakening Dreams season will soon be coming to an end. We have two more episodes and I’m still thinking about what Season 5 will be about. I’ve changed the podcast to twice a month on the second and fourth Monday. This month it’s on July 11th with guest Doreen Calderon, actor, and transformational coach.

Poetic Resurrection Podcast – Bimonthly

Sonia Iris Lozada Poetic ResurrectionIt’s been about a year and a half since I started the weekly Poetic Resurrection Podcast. I’ve met many beautiful and talented people. I’ve had several seasons.

The first season was about perceptions, which is what the Poetic Resurrection podcast is about. How we perceive thoughts and emotions to learn later in life might not have been our own.

Season two was about the theme of a Journey of the Soul, or, as others might call it, the higher self, the inner voice, universal knowledge, and inspiration. That inner voice teaches us our purpose and loves all, no matter our differences. It inspires, it’s tolerant, it’s accepting and appreciative.

Season three was Colors of Life. A look at how our differences can come together with acceptance and appreciation of our differences.

Season four is Awakening Dreams. The awakening of acceptance and how even the most difficult times can open up new opportunities to grow and live the life you can live. This is also the next title of my upcoming poetry book “Inspire Me: Awakening Dreams”.

Season five is up in the air. As of July 1st, Poetic Resurrection will be bi-monthly. It has been wonderful producing this podcast weekly but with two other podcasts: Chica & the Man (monthly) and soon to launch Overhead at Chica’s Café and working on acting projects it has become too much to produce, edit, and social media all the shows. Days to release will be on the second and fourth Monday of the month. So, in July it will be on the 11th and 25th.

Awakening Dreams – Thierry Kehou

Thierry KehouIn this week’s Awakening Dreams episode, our guest is multifaceted Thierry Kehou. We first discuss publishing and his journey in translating English literature from the black Francophone diaspora. Also, Lampblack, a non-profit organization, and magazine publishing Black writers globally that helped create. Thierry is the Director of Programs & Partnerships for Poets & Writers where they offer Mapping the Maze, a professional development workshop for writers who are ready to make a concrete plan to get their work published.

Thierry Kehou is a founder and board member of Lampblack, and a writer and literary translator from French. He holds a BA in Individualized Study from New York University’s Gallatin School and an MFA in Creative Writing from Rutgers University Newark. His writing has appeared in Departures Magazine, The Huron River Review, Lampblack, and elsewhere. His working translation of Francis Bebey‘s Three Little Shoeshiners has received support from the Breadloaf Translators’ Conference and was longlisted for the 2020 John Dryden Translation Competition.

Kahou was the guest speaker at the French-American Foundation’s 35th annual Translation Prize held in 2022. His translation of Haitian writer Jean d’Amérique’s debut novel Soleil à Coudre will be published by Other Press in 2023. He is currently working on a novel.

Poetic Resurrection Podcast page

Lampblack website: https://www.lampblacklit.com/

Lampblack Twitter: @lampblack_lit

Lampblack Instagram: @lampblack_lit

 

Awakening Dreams – Expectations

This week on Poetic Resurrection we’re going to discuss expectations. Why do we expect? What do we expect? I believe it depends on the circumstances. If I pay a vendor for a service or a product, I expect it to work. I also expect that this vendor has more knowledge than I do. For example, I expected I would do an episode last week. Well, I also expected to have the internet I pay for but that was not the case. It took me three days to get back online.

It’s good to be aware of expectations. Are they realistic? Are we expecting someone to act in a certain way? Expecting others to act according to a preconceived notion then we might have can lead to discontentment? Is that a requirement you’d like others to have of you? Sometimes, when we know the other person well, we expect them to behave a certain way. But people change and they should be allowed to change. There are many expectations that we have, and as I mentioned the vendor. Let us discuss expectations of ourselves and others.

Many expectations are connected to our perceptions of how situations and events need to work out. At the same time, who’s to say we’re, correct? Questioning our perceptions and seeing how they relate to our expectations can enlighten us on what we find important in our lives.

“First, merely expecting something to happen will not make it happen. For many of us, it is difficult to let go of the idea that expecting something to happen will make it happen.” Psychology Today

I did this with affirmations. If I state it long enough and with conviction, I expect it would happen. I certainly would be thrilled about it.

“Second, human beings have a natural tendency to pin their hopes for happiness on fulfilled expectations.”  Psychology Today

My experience with this is perceptions. Our perceptions are if I move to a home, city, country, etc. Then I would be happy. It can be a new job, a new place, or a new relationship. I feel I had to ask myself: why am I wanting to do something different outside myself? Is it me? Am I running from something, someone, or myself? I’m going to go wherever the change is. Is this a pattern in my life?

“The problem of expectation occurs when we expect something to happen without good reasons for that expectation.

Expecting life to always turn out the way you want is guaranteed to lead to disappointment because life will not always turn out the way you want it to. And when those unfulfilled expectations involve the failure of other people to behave the way you expect them to, the disappointment also involves resentment.

Let go of expectations and find something to be grateful about, even when things do not turn out the way you hoped, and you will experience serenity rather than resentment.” Psychology Today

“I have learned that as long as I hold fast to my beliefs and values – and follow my own moral compass – then the only expectations I need to live up to are my own. Michelle Obama”

The poem for this week is Alliance from my upcoming book Inspire Me: Awakening Dreams. You can also read it in my compilation book Inspire Me Series: Book 1 & 2.

Alliance

Sometimes my essence aches because of the many adventures and events others have had—without a mention and I wasn’t there. Is it me? Is the perception of what they sense I am—determining my behavior – thoughts? We spoke of holiday – two summers long—set for third. The third visit around the sun and asked—when are we going? I don’t know, was the answer. Facing the truth – social media—as I view the celebratory drink in hand with other. Visiting the places, of visual beauty of a distant land we planned. Why not explain—why falsehood? A sadness took over me—was it them? Was it me? Was it my perceptions of childhood memories which stood in the way of the truth? A truth that hasn’t existed in decades. A long ago feeling attached to a person whom I’ve surrendered my alliance. Taking responsibility for my emotions as I breath and let go. Let go of my ideas of the past. Do I blame them – no – I’m accountable for my beliefs. Would we plan again – No. Our characters unveiled the blinders I wore since childhood. Abandoning my memories and allowing myself permission to move on.

Inspire Me Series: Book 1 & 2 is available on Amazon

Listen to it on the PR Podcast page.

https://poeticresurrection.podbean.com/e/awakening-dreams-expectations/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/cui-bono/201802/the-psychology-expectations

Awakening Dreams – Evelyn Eccard

Evelyn Eccaard - Awakening DreamsThis week on Awakening Dreams our return guest is Evelyn Eccard from Bravo Leadership Int’l (BLI).  (Available on 6/6/22) In this episode, we discuss what is important to us when it comes to employment, leadership, and what makes us truly happy with ourselves and others. Mentorship and coaching are reviewed (see link below for the previous episode). We discussed the Great Resignation and how employment expectations have changed. Tune in to this informative episode. It might be that AHA moment that is needed in your life.

Evelyn Eccard is the founder of Bravo Leadership International. She named the company after listening to a friend yelling out “Bravo, Bravo” at a tennis tournament. When the player won, she purposely looked for that solo voice yelling “Bravo” and rewarded him by tossing him a tennis ball. She appreciated him and his encouragement throughout the game. That’s when Evelyn knew the name BRAVO was perfect for her business. Evelyn said “My intention is to up-level people’s mindsets through training and coaching and help them become a better version of themselves. I want to cheer them on.  Bravo!  Bravo!”

Throughout her career, she has chosen positions in which she has positively impacted the company’s culture by training and developing executives, management, and hourly employees.  She trained in everything, but her passion is leadership. She applied the leadership principles within her Sales team and saw first-hand, the positive impact (increase engagement, dedication, and productivity).   Soon after, her team was sought after by other departments as well as corporate headquarters.  They wanted leaders who had the experience of being on her team.

Evelyn had a vision of taking what she has learned in her 25+ year career and making it available to others.  She knows there are many managers out there struggling because leadership training isn’t a priority in many organizations. Companies would rather deal with constant problems that arise vs. training their managers to lead.  That thinking tends to cascade throughout the organization.

LEADERSHIP IS A LIFESTYLE

Bravo trains and coaches managers so they become LEADERS.  We teach leadership so that leaders can create the environment in which all of us can work to our natural best.  This produces trusting teams.

Evelyn’s goal is to train managers to become exceptional LEADERS.

Bravo consist of Evelyn Eccard and Stacey Aveling.  Both are certified John Maxwell Team member and passionate about leadership with over 20+ years of experience.  They specialized in leadership, communication, customer service and sales training.

Bravo believes in maintaining a positive mindset, creating long term partnerships with a purpose, developing all levels in an organization and always striving for significant outcomes. When working with Bravo, you should expect a collaboration with transparency and consistency.

Our goal is to up-level your thinking so you can be the BEST version of YOURSELF.

https://www.bli.life/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/evelynlozadaeccard

https://poeticresurrection.podbean.com/e/perceptions-of-employment-mentoring-coaching/

https://poeticresurrection.podbean.com/e/awakening-dreams-evelyn-eccard/ 

Awakening Dreams – Paul Meixner

On Memorial Day we have Veteran Paul Meixner discussing what Memorial Day means to him. We go through his journey from the military to the present day and how he applies what he has learned to the entertainment industry.

Today we celebrate Memorial Day. A holiday in the United States honoring the active-duty fallen soldiers. In 1966, the federal government declared Waterloo, New York the birthplace of Memorial Day. Waterloo was chosen because they had been celebrating their version of Memorial day since May 5th, 1866. They honored fallen soldiers by putting flags and flowers on their graves and closing their businesses.

Paul Meixner is a former US Army Infantryman turned Filmmaker and Weapons and Tactics instructor.

You can follow his adventures on Instagram @Mav11B and follow his podcast @ThunderPunkRadio with his co-host @FlirtCheap.